Loss/Grief

We learned in mid-January that our third pregnancy resulted in miscarriage. Since then, we have been navigating the grief of this loss, and thought it poignant to address the topic of loss in general in a newsletter format. This month will be a little heavier on the “read” side of things:

  • Read: In Get it Together: Organize Your Records So Your Family Won’t Have To, Melanie Cullen provides a compassionate guide to end-of-life planning. No one wants to think about their own death or what happens once they’re gone; the same goes for thinking about the death of a loved one. But without proper planning, this grief-filled inevitability can be fraught with frustration, added pain, and legal issues for those left behind. Aside from the emotional weight, thinking through every element of a death and getting everything organized can be overwhelming. Cullen’s clear-eyed guide will help to make the process as smooth as possible.
  • Read: This very brief article from Dave Ramsey places emphasis on creating and maintaining a Legacy Drawer. He recommends having 11 things in said drawer, including a cover letter, funeral instructions, insurance policies, and monthly budget. It is worth noting that current clients have much of what is recommended to have in a Legacy Drawer through your subscription to Right Capital, but not everything is contained there. Take some time to fill in whatever gaps are present.
  • Read: Should you take out a life insurance policy on your child(ren)? I give an emphatic “no!” Read 6 Reasons Why NOT To Buy Life Insurance for Your Children for a series of excellent reasons why purchasing a policy is a bad idea.
  • Read: My wife and I found a lot of solace in reading through Grieving Together: A Couple’s Journey Through Miscarriage by Franco and Laura Fanucci. Not only did this couple experience similar grief as we in the realm of infertility and miscarriage, but they also chronicle the deaths of their identical twin girls at 22 weeks. It is an inspiring book, discussing the impact of grief on the physical, spiritual, and emotional planes of both father and mother.
  • Watch: In this touching tribute to his wife who died from complications of ovarian cancer, Jason Rosenthal offers candid insights on the often excruciating process of moving through and with loss — as well as some quiet wisdom for anyone else experiencing life-changing grief.

One last note: an incredible consolation we received through genetic testing was finding out our little one is a girl; we named her Dorothy Rose Michelle.

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Bonnie Martinek

Administrative Assistant
Bonnie (Ben’s mom!) is a mother of 9 and a grandmother of 17. She has lived in rural Indiana her whole life and has a master’s degree in Special Education. In her own words, she’s done a little bit of everything but is a master of none (teaching, construction, manager of a corn maze, CNA, farm work, cashier, auto bodywork, and the list goes on!). Widowed in 2019, she is reinventing herself through her work in the day-to-day operations of Bona Fide Finance and client relations. Bonnie loves getting to know our clients and is happy to serve them well!

Deb Martinek

Relationships Specialist

Deb has been with Bona Fide Finance since its inception in 2015 and long before that with her support of Ben studying for the CFP designation and the dream of starting the business of helping individuals and families meet their financial goals.

She fills the Relationships Specialist role – Deb is typically the first encounter our new clients have as she walks them through our service offerings and introduces them to the map of financial literacy.

She has a bachelor’s degree from Ball State University and a master’s degree from the Franciscan University of Steubenville. Deb lives in Bismarck with Ben and their two young daughters, is a card-carrying member of the CDL club (read more about those adventures here) and is happiest reading an epic novel, solving a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle, or working in her kitchen where she can serve love to the people in her life through quality food (clients enjoy her holiday shipment of homemade goodies each December!).

Ben Martinek

CFP®, EA, CSLP®, RICP®, Founder and Advisor

Ben Martinek, CFP®, EA, CSLP®, RICP®, is the founder and lead advisor at Bona Fide Finance, an independent, fee-only firm dedicated to helping doctors, young professionals, and growing families take control of their financial future. With a deep understanding of student loan debt—having tackled his own—Ben specializes in guiding clients through debt repayment strategies, smart investing, and comprehensive financial planning so they can build wealth with confidence. Ben’s passion for financial planning comes from his desire to provide honest, objective advice tailored to each client’s unique situation. He loves seeing the impact of his work, whether it’s helping a family pay off student loans years ahead of schedule, setting up an early retiree for financial freedom, or giving clients the peace that comes from knowing their finances are in order. His clients appreciate his thoughtful, high-touch approach, often saying that working with him has changed their lives.

Before launching Bona Fide Finance in 2015, Ben’s career path was anything but conventional. The fourth of nine children, he grew up in rural Indiana and initially pursued a path in academia, earning a B.A. in philosophy and classical languages, followed by a master’s degree in philosophy. Along the way, he explored careers in construction and truck driving—logging over 600,000 miles across the U.S. with his wife, Deb—before finding his true calling in financial planning.

Now based in Bismarck, North Dakota, Ben and Deb stay busy raising their two daughters, Edith and Virginia. Since their truck-driving days, Ben is happiest on a long road trip—preferably behind the wheel of his TDI Volkswagen Jetta. He enjoys sailing on Lake Sakakawea, camping in their vintage ’90s pop-up camper, and smoking a pipe by the grill. A lover of strategy board games, he favors Clans of Caledonia (mostly because Deb refuses to play Risk with him). When he’s not working with clients, he can be found smoking meat, gardening, hiking, or diving into The Lord of the Rings or Dune. Ben also serves on the school board for his daughters’ Montessori school and is actively involved in pre-marriage ministry in the Bismarck Diocese.